I am trying to pack for a work trip to New York (which makes me feel really, really grown up) and am pretty much having an existential crisis because I’m trying to keep my packing to carry on items only. And I am FAILING. Horribly.

Why?

Shoes.

For I think the second time in this blogs history I am ACTUALLY going to write about shoes. And how they are trying to get me fired.

My office is one of those cool tech “wear whatever you want” type places and while I have, on more than one occasion, wondered if I could get away with wearing a SuperGrover costume, for the most part I wear jeans with boots because it’s fall and boots are awesome and make me feel like I could be Lara Croft. Once I get the boob job. If that didn’t make sense to you, read the blurb on the right toolbar AND HELP ME GET MY BOOB JOB BEFORE THE ZOMBIES COME!

BUT in New York I will be meeting with important type people. And will have to wear clothing of the business variety. Which I have avoided like the plague since I escaped my old job in Finance.

What I have realized is, I have either not enough, or too many shoe options.

See.. all my outfits require slightly different types of shoes. And I don’t have space for all of them. But I don’t have any sort of Neutral shoes that go with everything.

So I’m either packing four shoe in addition to whatever I’ma be wearing on my feet OR I just go barefoot and tell people I’m a hippie.

Which is a really, really bad idea in New York because, while it’s super awesome there, the sidewalks are gross and once my grandma slipped on a condom while we were walking across fifth and all she could say was “Do you think they were doing it in a car and tossed it out the window? Drivers here are terrible.”

Grandma – always worrying about the important things.

So I’m surrounded by a bunch of really pretty, not at all practical shoes and I’m trying to figure out if I can ask my boss to carry three pairs of shoes for me without getting fired.