The other day my super awesome Cousin took me to Cirque du Soleil. If you don’t know what that is, I feel really sad for you because in a nutshell – It’s epic.

We went to see Totem - which is supposedly a “fascinating journey into the evolution of mankind”. Which sounds like it’s [...]

SO I saw the movie The Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

I realized a few things:

1) I have no idea if James Franco is hot.

Seriously. Not a clue. There are times when I’m all “Damn that is a handsome profile” and then there are other times where I can’t help but [...]

So I seem to STILL be violently battling writers block, am hung over TWO DAYS after using cocktails for drinking games (SUCH A BAD IDEA) and am feeling insane pressure to be funny. Which is hard cause I never really FEEL funny. Mostly I just feel like I’m being a jerk. Or gassy. Actually more [...]

Dear Hipster,
I don’t care if your camel toe is ironic. It’s still a fucking camel toe. Get it together.

Dear neighbor,
I get it, you like to smoke weed. A lot. But for fuck sake, smoke the good stuff. The smell of your rank ass pot makes me sad for both you [...]

Okay so I’m sort of suffering from writers block. And by “sort of” I’ve started approximately 15 posts that have all ended in me violently smashing my keyboard after about two sentences.

It’s not like I usually have anything really USEFUL to say but at least I am rarely paralyzed with an inability to string together [...]