Waste of Heels

My *ahem* lady bits have an arch nemesis. Which is pretty badass, if you ask me.

It’s going to get all kinds of graphic up in here, so grandpa, if you could skip this post, that would be great. Basically, if you’re not comfortable with getting REALLY intimate with my life, you may want to skip… Continue Reading →

I like to reward myself for doing grown up stuff by drinking. Because #balance bitches.

I had another one of those days where being an adult punched me in the face and was all “SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS!” Which I assume is how people with children wake up everyday just all “Oh. Fuck. We made a human… Continue Reading →

Happiness is a Learned Skill. Like Twerking. Or Italian.

I know I said I wasn’t going to get all full of inspirational crap on you guys. But I am a liar. I feel like I covered that a few times on this blog. I think.   If not, please… Continue Reading →

And Unto them, He Gave the Gift of Bullshit.

I don’t know if you guys have noticed, but I am the kind of person that can talk a lot of shit. Not the “Yo Momma” type of shit talking. Trading insults isn’t my style. Mostly because the kind of… Continue Reading →

I’ve recently discovered that the weird thing my face is doing is called Smiling.

My poor mom taught me to drive at the tender age of 17. This was well before we figured out my constant leg scratching, stomach pains and occasional inability to breath properly were because of a severe anxiety disorder. I… Continue Reading →

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